Another football season is rapidly approaching us and with that comes millions of fantasy drafts set to take place over the next two weeks leading up to opening night on September 6th when the Saints play the Colts. Sensing the moment and probably preparing a fantasy cheat sheet of his own, Lions quarterback Jon Kitna issued this disturbing yet sobering statement to the press:
“To everyone out there, for god’s sake just take someone else. I’m talking back-up QBs too, not just your starter: TAKE. SOMEONE. ELSE. Every year many of you idiots take me, get all excited and then boom, I absolutely crap the bed like an untrained puppy. You know I suck. I’m a freakin’ Lion! Get your head out of your ass and make a solid pick. I’m tired of being forced to defend myself on the streets when I don’t even want to. The fact that I dropped myself from my own fantasy team last year should be enough to scare you away, so do us all a favor on draft night and just let my sucky self be. And in the rarest of rare chances that I might actually get hot for one or two weeks, or even a quarter or two, don’t (expletive) jinx it you selfish (expletive), leave me on waivers to rot like decaying roadkill. Thanks and have an amazingly (expletive) day.